Lucky Golfing Frog

A man takes the day off work and Decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he Notices a frog sitting next to The green. He thinks nothing of it and is About to shoot when he Hears, 'Ribbit 9 Iron.'

The man looks around and doesn't See anyone. Again, he Hears, 'Ribbit 9 Iron.' He looks At the frog and decides to Prove the frog wrong, puts the Club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom!

He hits it 10 inches from the Cup. He is shocked. He says To the frog, 'Wow that's amazing.
You must be a lucky frog,? The frog replies, 'Ribbit Lucky frog.'

The man decides to take the frog With him to the next hole. 'What do you think frog?' The
Man asks. 'Ribbit 3 wood.' The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one.

The Man is befuddled and doesn't know What to say. By the end Of the day, the man golfed the
Best game of golf in his life and Asks the frog, 'OK where to next?'

The frog replies, 'Ribbit Las Vegas.

' They go to Las Vegas And the guy says, 'OK frog, now What?' The frog says, 'Ribbit Roulette.' Upon Approaching the roulette table, The man Asks, 'What do you think I should Bet?' The frog replies, 'Ribbit $3000, black 6.'

Now, this is a Million-to-one shot to win, but After the golf game the man Figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and Buys the best room in the Hotel. He sits the frog down and
Says, 'Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and
I am forever grateful.' The frog replies,

'Ribbit KissMe.'

He figures why not, Since after all the frog did for Him, he deserves it. With a
Kiss, the frog turns into a Gorgeous 16-year-old girl. 'And that, Your honor, is how the girl Ended up in my room.

Golf Therapy

Two women were playing golf.. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and then asked, 'How does that feel'?

He replied, 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'

The Estate

At dawn the telephone rings:


"Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house."


"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"


"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot died.


"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"


"Si, Senor,that's the one."


"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"


"From eating rotten meat, Senor Rod"


"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"


"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."


"Dead horse? What dead horse?"


"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."


"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"


"Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."


"Are you insane? What water cart?"


"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"


"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"


"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire"


"What the hell??....Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle??!!!


"Yes Senor Rod."


"But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"


"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

So

" WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!"


"Your wife's, Senor Rod... She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."


SILENCE................... LONG SILENCE...............


"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!! "